69. DG

Friday, December 7, 2007
I have found that talking to gil makes me smile more than anything else. He really does make me feel better, even if its a lie. I really do enjoy talking to him. I remember that he told me that he didn't care about what I thought of him, but that he thought that I was cool. What makes me a bit uneasy about him is how he affects me. I crave attention from him more than anyone else. I also care more about what he thinks of me than any single other person or all of them combined on IRC. But here's what's bothering me: I desire talking to him more than anyone else, even Kevin. I really do think that I have started to develop an actual crush on him. I don't eve know why I cybered Rach. That was a lie. All I wanted was him. I want him to want me, to like me, to give me a chance. Hell, even at school I find myself wanting him around to hold me, to cuddle me, and to completely dominate me.