53. Resent

Friday, November 16, 2007
I do not know if I don't like her or if I don't like myself.
maybe it's both. I don't know. I just don't like how she's always near him. I know that I do hang out with lots of other guys, but I don't or try not to make it obvious to their significant others. I guess I'm just insecure, inadequate, incompetent, insane. I am not worth, and he is worth too much to me, to her, to them, to everyone.
I do not know if it is because he is everything or that I am nothing.
yet again, probably both. I wish I could feel more worthwhile, I guess. I'm so sick of feeling threatened, even though I am. I am tired of being portrayed as a bad person and bad girlfriend even though I am. I adore him, my love, my everything. et I am little more than experience for hi. I am not meant for him, though he is me.
I do not know if it is because I am worthless or because he is worth more than anything to me.
maybe it's both, again. I don't know. I just know that I wish this would end in my death.