45. Kevin

Sunday, November 4, 2007
is the single most important person in my life. Yes, that's right; I have finally aloowed myself to give in and to make my significant other rank higher than my best friends. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that it's true. And right now, I am losing my mind. I really feel like I'm about to burst into tears. I guess I need to, to calm the hell down. I'm just scared, as usual, of losing him to someone else, which I somehow know will happen. What I don't know is how our friends will treat me after said split. Will they still like me? or will they take his side, be bored with me like his new girlfriend better and leave me behind? Probably. I don't know anymore. I love kevin, believe it or not. I dont' care either way if you do, but I do love him. And I'm scared to death. Right now, at 9:40 PM on a stormy night, I just want to talk to him and I wish I had a laptop so I could check on him. I need to talk to him daily more than I need to breathe, sleep or eat. I just need him. I am a fucking wreck without him. And he's probably online wondering where the fuck I am. While I'm here, alone and depressed in my room. I think I'll go cry now.