46. Ginger

Sunday, November 4, 2007
is the girl who used to love my love. And she had feelings for Kevin since October or November of 2005. I had a crush on Kevin since I was in 8th grade. She talked about how she loved him and how she was sure that he liked her. They went to prom together. They held hands. He took a picture with her. She asked him to prom and he said yes. And when he told me that he went to prom with her, I checked her myspace and I read the things that she wrote and I figured out that she liked him. And she said how she was sure that he liked her back. And Kevin denied liking her as anything more than a friend, but I was skeptical. I was torn, I thought that he was lying to spare my feelings, but at the same time, I knew that he wouldn't feel like he needed to lie to me. But I pursued him with everything that I had. Knowing full well that she liked him. And I tried to go around with him knowing she would see and then realize that we were together. A part of me wanted to hurt her like she hurt me. And a part of me feels bad. But I couldn't let him go. If I let Kevin pass me by, I think that I would kill myself. No lie.