92. Selfish

Monday, June 16, 2008
is what I am...I want Ash. I want Eric. I like how Eric and I am and I like how me and Ash are. I know that I am two different people around them, but I can't help it...they both bring out different things in me. Ash brings out the best in me; I am the good girl, the good student and the one who tries not to get in trouble...but Eric brings out the worst in me; I am the naughty girl, the rebel, the smartass and the sex object. I just don't now if and when this will end. And now, with Nishi, I like joking around with him too....except I am never quite entirely sure if I am serious or joking. Grr...I want way too much. I want Ash to be around and play with me,...in every sense of the word....I want to mess around with Eric and I want to hang around and lay in Nishi's bed...fuck me, man. I guess that I don't really know what I want, after all. :(