Thursday, June 5, 2008
Happy happy happy happy happy happy :) :) :) :) :) :D :D :D :D ^_^ ^_^ :3 :3 :3 <3> :> :> =) =) =) :] :] :] :] :] c: c: c: C: C: C: ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
89. Lonely
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Ok, so here is the deal: Ash is depressed and not going online nor really talking to me and I am afraid to talk to him... he feels so cold and distant and I don't really have a reason to be online without him.
and Eric isn't really calling or coming over, thus leaving me even lonelier.
And now, I am talking a lot to Nishi, who wants mah body.
So I am just trying to figure out what to do. I don't feel so wanted anymore and I am terrified that Ash is just going to decide that I am a waste of time, Eric will give up and I will be left with Nishi: a 28 year old guy, because no one else is left.
Ok, so here is the deal: Ash is depressed and not going online nor really talking to me and I am afraid to talk to him... he feels so cold and distant and I don't really have a reason to be online without him.
and Eric isn't really calling or coming over, thus leaving me even lonelier.
And now, I am talking a lot to Nishi, who wants mah body.
So I am just trying to figure out what to do. I don't feel so wanted anymore and I am terrified that Ash is just going to decide that I am a waste of time, Eric will give up and I will be left with Nishi: a 28 year old guy, because no one else is left.
88. Fucking Eric
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Why don't you call when I want you to? And why did you tell your mom? I could have told you that that was going to happen. Now you probably fucked up that chance we could have had, you realize this, right? Fuck...now what am I supposed to do? Now that you won't be able to sneak away to come see me? Now that your mom will probably be suspicious of you and me now. Also, now that your sister knows and she hates me. But, you know what? None of that really bothers me much, but it is the fact that now, the little chance that we could have had for dating, at least for a little while, is totally out of the question. Fucking Eric... good job at fucking up... though I suppose I know you didn't mean to.
Why don't you call when I want you to? And why did you tell your mom? I could have told you that that was going to happen. Now you probably fucked up that chance we could have had, you realize this, right? Fuck...now what am I supposed to do? Now that you won't be able to sneak away to come see me? Now that your mom will probably be suspicious of you and me now. Also, now that your sister knows and she hates me. But, you know what? None of that really bothers me much, but it is the fact that now, the little chance that we could have had for dating, at least for a little while, is totally out of the question. Fucking Eric... good job at fucking up... though I suppose I know you didn't mean to.
87. To Ash
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
I love you; I know it may seem hard to believe right now, but I do love you. I would kill myself if I knew that it would make you happy. In fact, the only reason why I am still alive is because I love you too much to want to die anymore. I would give you my heart if only I had it myself but don't you dare ever forget or think for a second that I do not love you, because I would give you all of me. You are my dragon, my protector, my everything. You are the only and only. You are going to be my last kiss and my last reason to smile, my last everything. I will marry you some day. This, I know and I wish I could promise you but I know that if you really do die at 26, I will probably kill myself because there would be no reason left for me to live if my life would be without you. But I do know that I will be with you...and the end of all things. At least that, I can promise you for sure. Maybe you should drift from me. If it'd make you feel better, then that is the main thing. I would rather you hate me than me hurt you. I LOVE YOU, AND YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON WHO I KNOW, I KNOW that I will love for the rest of eternity. Guarens. ♥
I love you; I know it may seem hard to believe right now, but I do love you. I would kill myself if I knew that it would make you happy. In fact, the only reason why I am still alive is because I love you too much to want to die anymore. I would give you my heart if only I had it myself but don't you dare ever forget or think for a second that I do not love you, because I would give you all of me. You are my dragon, my protector, my everything. You are the only and only. You are going to be my last kiss and my last reason to smile, my last everything. I will marry you some day. This, I know and I wish I could promise you but I know that if you really do die at 26, I will probably kill myself because there would be no reason left for me to live if my life would be without you. But I do know that I will be with you...and the end of all things. At least that, I can promise you for sure. Maybe you should drift from me. If it'd make you feel better, then that is the main thing. I would rather you hate me than me hurt you. I LOVE YOU, AND YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON WHO I KNOW, I KNOW that I will love for the rest of eternity. Guarens. ♥
86. Remus and Tonks
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Remus John Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks, yet more issues because Eric is my Remus and he calls me Tonks. :) I want him to be my Lupin. Hell, he even acts it by staying distant. And he knows random weird shit about Harry Potter and he didn't have to have me tell him who the fuck Verity is. He knew. And he can sometimes match me in the sheer amount of knowledge on Harry Potter. He dressed up as Regulus for me on Harry Potter night. I remember that I and was proud. :p And he is dressing up as my Lupin when I dress as Tonks in November. Should be fun.
Remus John Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks, yet more issues because Eric is my Remus and he calls me Tonks. :) I want him to be my Lupin. Hell, he even acts it by staying distant. And he knows random weird shit about Harry Potter and he didn't have to have me tell him who the fuck Verity is. He knew. And he can sometimes match me in the sheer amount of knowledge on Harry Potter. He dressed up as Regulus for me on Harry Potter night. I remember that I and was proud. :p And he is dressing up as my Lupin when I dress as Tonks in November. Should be fun.
85. the Dragon and the Angel
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
or ash and I. He is my dragon Ash and I'm his Angel and I love my dragon Ash; he is the coolest guy under the sun and he protects me. He is there during the day and he always helps me out and lets me win. He loves me and I never ever felt like me hated me. Even though I hurt him. I am supposed to be his Angel; I am supposed to protect him from everything, but I can't even protect him from myself. I have failed you, my dragon Ash. Just don't you ever forget that I love you. You are one of my best friends and my guardian. You put me before others and even yourself. And I love you. I really do, and this is killing me. Just please tell me that everything is going to be okay and that you won't hate me... If I were to lose you altogether; I would die. The angel is too weak to live without her dragon and the dragon doesn't want to live without his angel. We are there for each other like the day and the night; like fire and water.
or ash and I. He is my dragon Ash and I'm his Angel and I love my dragon Ash; he is the coolest guy under the sun and he protects me. He is there during the day and he always helps me out and lets me win. He loves me and I never ever felt like me hated me. Even though I hurt him. I am supposed to be his Angel; I am supposed to protect him from everything, but I can't even protect him from myself. I have failed you, my dragon Ash. Just don't you ever forget that I love you. You are one of my best friends and my guardian. You put me before others and even yourself. And I love you. I really do, and this is killing me. Just please tell me that everything is going to be okay and that you won't hate me... If I were to lose you altogether; I would die. The angel is too weak to live without her dragon and the dragon doesn't want to live without his angel. We are there for each other like the day and the night; like fire and water.
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